Forget the Pizzalympics, I’m Ready to be a Legend | Box Knight Review
When I was in high school, I worked at a pizza place, as one does, to save money for college and fund my need for more books. It was a medium-sized chain, and once a year, three or four employees from each store in our region would gather for something called the “Pizzalympics.”
Yes, the Pizzalympics.
It was exactly as ridiculous and wonderful as it sounds. We’d spend an insanely early morning competing in various pizza-related challenges, all in the name of earning bragging rights for our store. There was something inherently hilarious about taking a job that mostly involved making pizzas, cleaning things, and dealing with customers and turning it into a full-blown athletic competition.
I thought about those days quite a bit while playing Box Knight.
Because if there’s one thing Box Knight and the devs at We Made a Thing Studios understand, it’s that there’s something almost universal about wanting a little frivolity at work, or, in my case, wanting to be J.D. from Scrubs and turn every shift into a series of increasingly ridiculous shenanigans. (Seriously, I think I have at least one Scrubs moment every shift at work?)
By day, you’re an ordinary office worker. But when 5 p.m. rolls around on Friday, you become the Box Knight, grab your cardboard weapons, and set about hacking and slashing your way through a monster-infested office labyrinth on your way to the CEO.
And for this ex-food service and 15-year retail vet, it was a hell of a good time.
In the beginning, you’ll choose an elemental class, like fire, lightning, or frost. I started with fire, but after giving them all a spin, you can’t really go wrong with whatever option you choose. And your weapon? A cardboard sword to start with, of course. I really appreciated the fact that everything you came across, whether it was armor or weapons, looked like it was crafted by someone bored at their cubicle or desk, like the medals in The Office episode “Office Olympics.”
Yes, this is a roguelike. But you know, so is real life? You wake up, work, take on a few bosses, and sleep. And then you repeat. Such is life in Box Knight, too, but it’s far more exciting in the game. You go on runs, battling through several different types of enemies at a time in a variety of workplace rooms to reach the level boss, and along the way fulfilling quests to earn skill points and money to spend on upgrades. The enemies have their challenges; some just get in your face and try to whack you, while some have ranged attacks, and others…well, you’ll just have to see. I had a good time naming some of them after former bosses, if that’s any indication.
Each enemy also has different approaches to tackling them. Ground pounds were quite effective in terms of damage dealt, but certain enemies with armor were immune. Some enemies would explode if you jumped on them, meaning dealing with them was a careful dance. After all, you didn’t want to explode, either. At the end of each room, you’d earn a grade for your performance and an option to pick an upgrade that would stay with you until the end of the run.
And when you do hit the dreaded end, you’re sent back to the hub, a safe area with some of your fellow co-workers who haven’t been turned into the hideous and hilarious creatures, and members of the Council of Janitors, who offer you permanent upgrades for money and XP. (Scruffy from Futurama is a part of this, I just know it! Haha.)
Box Knight is a robust experience, one that I admittedly haven’t quite finished. While I am enjoying the game, I can’t quite help but compare it to another roguelike I’ve found myself reabsorbed in, and that’s Cult of the Lamb (another game I haven’t quite finished, either). While Box Knight doesn’t feel as fluid or quite have the same polish as it does in Lamb, it’s still extremely enjoyable, and the comic-book art style is certainly memorable. It’s one of those games that you can pick up for half an hour, or lose the better part of a night in, but either way, you can’t lose.
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-Amanda
